Whenever my husband gets me upset, I give him the silent treatment. 

I used to rage and yes, I admit, swear (okay, okay not that often) until I found out that it was useless wasting all that energy to create even more negative vibes when what I really wanted was for him to say, “I’m sorry.”  Until he did, things remained stagnant between us.  

But I found silence to be golden. He gets my unspoken messages. He reflects and expresses his mea cupla in clear terms.  I forgive and we move on. This shoe fits very nicely on my own foot too.

But what happens when it’s not your intimate partner that makes you angry? What happens if it  is your   CEO or a governement representative? How then  should he/she go about  rebuilding trust.

I think there is only one to do it. Boldly. Plainly. Loudly. Be assured  that any other way    will encourage public outcry and loss of respect. I certainly won’t bury the apology in the middle  of a   speech or  pass the buck, even if the buck deserves to be passed. However you look at it, if you do it any other way, your apology will look insincere, disingenuous.  

Take a page from Richard Edelman’s, CEO of one of the largest PR firms in the world  and whose work with Walmart scandalised the business and communications  world. About 3 years ago it was  discovered that Edelman’s  firm hired two professional bloggers posing as everyday Americans to travel cross country, visit Walmart stores and post  their positive impressions on a blog dedicated to their journey. This was a really bad case of spin messaging. What made this story so noteworthy was  the fact that Edelman (the firm)  enjoyed a really  strong reputation as thought leader when it came to transparency and honesty in PR.  

But here’s the apology Richard Edelman  issued”

I want to acknowledge our error in failing to be transparent about the identity of the two bloggers from the outset. This is 100% our responsibility and our error; not the client's.

Let me reiterate our support for the WOMMA guidelines on transparency, which we helped to write. Our commitment is to openness and engagement because trust is not negotiable and we are working to be sure that commitment is delivered in all our programs.”

Now,  that’s an apology. 

It’s direct. It admits fault. It’s concise (no need to beat the fallen horse to revive it.) Most importantly it is future based, a flash forward to the lessons learned and the likelihood of the mistake  never occuring again.

Of course there is a way for politicians and CEOs to avoid apologising in the first place and it involves enlisting stakheolders  and defining  transparency before launching an initiative.

Success  in political life, business life and yes marriage is about relationships. And trust. It's an obvious statement but it  is often overlooked. 

Communications is almost never about the hammer that breaks down the door.

Instead it is always about the power of 1,000 words. Words that are spoken, written, taped, aired, shared.

 Words that acrrue drip by drip until they overwhelm the current status quo and start a fresh course.

Of course it’s a process. Often time the first word is ignored. Your’re doing what?... none of the employees will buy into that?… that’s never going to work? The CEO will hate it...

And so the 500th word can seem lonely. So too the 999th. At that time the nay sayers can  seem totally right as  they move on to criticise the next idea that you wish to spread, the next change that needs to made.

 But then comes  the 1,000th word and people begin to take note and soon everyone begins to cheer.

It’s exciting of course because it's the final  word which proves once and for all that you were doing the right thing all along.

Myles Munroe is one heck of a terrific  speaker. 

Once you get past the way he promotes his bestsellers, the fact that his diminutive height  does  not quite equate with  his giant sized reputation, and the fact that  if you happen to be an  atheist his God-centered talk could have you searching for the  closest exit signs. Get past all that and you realise that  Munroe has what it takes to keep an audience in two positions: mesmerised in their chairs or on their feet applauding.

I was neither. 

When I saw him at the C.A.R.A.I.F.A conference in Tobago this week where he was the featured speaker,  I was determined to remain very focused on his technique. What was it that causes the Bahamian born motivational speaker to pack large  convention halls around the world and keep folks wanting more?  I think its two things:

• Internal energy
• The wisdom of the crowd

Internal energy takes many forms but it is really centered deep inside the speaker. At the conference it started when Munroe was introduced. He trotted up to the stage,  he didn’t walk. He turned to the audience with a oversized, welcoming smile and began with  a story  of personal struggle and success. In the first minute, he fulfilled the  great expectations of the crowd. His honest, human story about his family, why he  came and what he had been up to  had the audience sufficiently engaged.  

This is no mean feat considering that most audiences make judgements about their speaker in the first 30 seconds after their introduction. If they are not convinced then they increasingly begin to lose interest in what is being said every half minute after that. The key factor is to get your internal energy in sync from the get go.

The wisdom of the crowd is an altogether different force. An audience gets listless. Their attention waxes and wanes. They get bored. Mostly when a presenter gets in front of an audience that audience  wants something. That’s natural. Why else should they even consider giving up their time? The trick is in knowing  that no matter what the presentation: a talk on regulation of the financial industry, a conversation about government and integrity, a how-to dialogue about landscaping, an audience wants to be inspired.  Munroe gets this. In Tobago he was like a fisherman. Giving bait with words. Feeling the waters. Hooking the audience. Reeling them in. 

I  once read that every great presenter “earns the respect of the audience through his/her appearance, reputation, posture, voice, slides, introduction”. 

If a speaker  doesn't get that then it is best to go do something else. Throw away the invitation. Don’t show up. Don’t hide behind a power point. Don’t read bullet points word for word. Don't waste your time (or the audience’s.) 

I think the presenter who gets his audience the most, who syncs an internal energy to inpsire the crowd, like Munroe, wins.