Anya Ayoung Chee looked wonderful on the front pages of The Express yesterday. Confident and beautiful she stood in a posed shot next to her photographer boyfriend who she was seen on tape having sex with in the most interesting and intimate of  positions. 

And if that was not enough to cause eyebrows to raise into pointed asterisks, they were not alone.  Joining them in the homemade video was another Asian woman.

In a Web 2.0 world where there is no such thing as localised news, the salacious video this week  made its way onto  TMZ, the international gossip website that  was the first to break the news of Michael Jackson’s death in June.

Many have snickered at the way Anya Ayoung Chee has been seen in public. While she was disinvited from the Miss Trinidad and Tobago 2009 show, there have been many reports of  Anya going about her social  life in the most ordinary of ways. 

Sad to say but true nevertheless, in a public scandal as juicy as this, people want blood. They want to see someone on the floor who they can dig into the dirt with their heels.  They want the gossip. They want comic relief. 

But mostly I think they want  answers and yes, maybe an  apology. Should  public figures apologise for "offensive" private acts committed in private spaces that are not illegal and do not harm anyone?

Yes, they  should. I think you do it first and then you get on with life.

Here’s a perfect example of how to.

Recently Jamaican dance hall queen, Lisa Hype, was seen  in a widely distributed photograph engaged in a sexual act. Warning do not click this link, if graphic images disturb you. 

But here is her apology, which I think is brilliant because it communicates her  sincerity and regret. And it is sufficiently contrite but not pious. 

Here are Lisa’s words.

 “I would like to say that there is no excuse for a picture of that nature to be a part of the public domain. I admit that the picture is real, but it captures a personal act done in the privacy of my bedroom. I don't know how that got leaked to the media and condemn anyone who would stoop to such a low.

However, I understand that I am a public person, and when I say or do something, either articulated and thought out, it carries weight in the public arena. As a result, I must assume personal responsibility for my actions. I would like to apologise specifically to all my female fans who might be disappointed to see me in this light. However, I don't apologise for the act itself because it was done with a man that I truly and deeply love and respect, and it was done in the privacy of my bedroom. I did it, so what?

I would also like to apologise to my family who are truly and deeply hurt by the dissemination of the photo all over the Internet and the media. This is not cool. And this is not funny. This is my life that some unscrupulous person is attempting to destroy, but I am a strong young woman and I will survive. Many young women, like myself, have been exploited and hurt in this way and there comes a point in everyone's life when they have to stop allowing people to hurt them. I am begging young girls across Jamaica to use my life as an example: we live in a male-dominated society but don't allow men to use and abuse you. I have learned my lesson the hard way. 

The world is a tough classroom, sometimes. In closing, I want to say thank you to all my young fans who have supported me in this, my darkest hour.”

There is a tremendous lesson to be learned with Lisa's post. How to say you’re sorry and yet maintain a modicum of respect while sending a strong social message to your publics.

I think there is something for Anya in here.  

In order to survive in this hyper-competitive  environment, we need a survival kit and we need to put it together now. Good times are not around the corner unless we look down a lot of blind alleys. 

Some ideas...

1) If you aren't enjoying what you are doing-quit doing it. And quit immediately. Just listen to what Master investor Warren Buffet when he says," I always worry about people who say 'I'm going to do this for ten years; I really don't like it  much. And then I'll do this...' That's like saving sex for old age."'

2) UBU. Got it? You be you. Successful people are successful because they are what they do and they do what they are. Why are we hanging on to the roles imposed upon us. If  we strip down to our personalities are we just  really mothers, fathers, managers, leaders, subordinates, africans, indians, europeans? I bet not.

3) We have to be absolutely clear about who we are, where we want to go, who we want to do business with, have a relationship with and so on. 

We are condemned to freedom and one life. Isn't it time we took control. 

A friend of mine, a consultant  in the imaging business, lost out on a potentially significant contract  and she only later learned why. 

As it turns out, it was my friend's  facebook  photo gallery that did her in.   

I must mention that my friend is at the top of her game. In the world of image consulting her name surfaces high up on any list. But it wasn't enough for a prospective  client who in making a final decision surfed my friend's facebook and came across some images of her "wining on a guy". 

" I couldn't hire her, my CEO is really conservative, from the images I don't think they'll be able to relate."

"But that man is her husband," I protested.

"Does not matter," said the prospective client "it just  sends a bad message." 

And out went a great piece of business

I spent many hours wondering if I would be crossing any lines if I told  my friend to remove the photographs. This led me to wonder about how much  one's personal brand should be divorced from one's professional interests. Turns out that in the face of facebook it never really is.

In conversation I find that  more and more HR managers  and business clients are turning onto social media profiles to get a better feel of job applicants and prospective  partners. And the long trail of status updates, twitter messages, personal notes, wall messages and photographs reveals an authencity that is missing from interviews and meetings.

 I eventually did call my friend. Sure, I thought the photograph was an innocent one.  And yes, it showed a man and his wife having fun in a way that's relevant to our culture. But with the 2 international conferences  approaching and  prospective clients  from all over the world surfing the Net in search of  good image makers on local soil, an innocent photo, I thought, could be misconstrued and attached with altogether different meaning.

It's a good lesson not only for my friend but for  all of us. Google never forgets.  It's like what one marketing expert says: better  to overload your social networks  "with a long tail of good stuff and to always act as if you're on Candid Camera, because you are."

 ...I think it is about being different. Remarkable.

That's why organisations depend on people who come up with unique ideas. "The trouble is that  uniqueness and difference are often the preserve of people who,  judged against the average corporate citizens, are a bit weird, perhaps even crazy."

These are the entrepreneurs though, people prepared to challenge the status quo, to break the rules, to look at the world with totally different eyes, question the norm and invent opportunity.

Yes, even in an economic storm.